The tears finally came today. Since waking on Sunday, I have been on autopilot, incapable of concentrating on work and unable to properly engage with people. The emotions were too raw, too poignant, too conflicting.
And finally, finally, the dam released. And the tears came.
Tears for families who lost their loved ones in such a tragic way.
Tears for survivors who will grapple with horrific memories and what ifs for the rest of their lives.
Tears for dear ones who were viscerally reminded of the unjust dangers accompanying their sexuality.
Tears for beloved friends who, while fasting during one of the most beautifully reflective celebrations of their holy year, saw their religion cited as a motivator for horrific violence and faced accusations against their entire community.
Tears for a man so broken and failed by the system that his confusion, hatred, and rage came out in the form of a senseless massacre.
Tears for a nation that has seen this time and time again and still fails to take adequate action on gun control, mental health care, and hate speech.
America, you are broken.
World, you are broken.
Humanity, you are broken.
But oh, you are beautiful.
For also this week in the world, a couple gazed adoringly at their adopted daughter as she laughed for the first time.
A man unhesitatingly embraced his transgender son.
A woman gleefully accepted her girlfriend's marriage proposal.
A Pakistani Muslim shopkeeper donated money to rebuild a Christian chapel destroyed by monsoon rains.
We must let the tears come.
There is a time to weep.
This is that time.
But we must also let the smiles come.
Because there is a time to laugh.
And this is that time too.
May you mourn. May you rejoice. In the beautiful, broken mess this thing called life is. And may you know peace.